phasing_cat | To the One Who Broke Your Heart the Hardest

Letter Meme, Day 20

Dear Claire:

When I met you, I had told myself I would never love or trust anyone ever again. My parents had betrayed me in the most basic way, and it broke me. I'd had a boyfriend, and I'd told him I loved him. But I lied. I didn't think I was capable of love any more.

And then I met you, and you worked your way inside my walls. You showed me that not only could I love again, but that I was worthy of being loved myself. And for the brief time that we were together, and happy, I had faith in the future again.

I was fooling myself, I see that now. By falling for you, I was setting myself up to be hurt again. I was repeating what my mother and father had done to me. My dad picked my mom over me. You picked Adam over me. And looking back, I should have seen that from the beginning. I don't blame you.

Now, months later, I've managed to hold onto the lesson you taught me. You gave me so much, Claire, and you still do, every day, as my friend. I don't regret one moment of our time together, or what happened afterward. If you hadn't broken my heart, I never would have realized that I needed to go home again and confront my parents. And I wouldn't have had what little time I did with my dad before he died.

So thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for loving me, and leaving me. You saved me from myself, and my loneliness, and I'll never forget it.

I love you.

Kitty