She couldn't stop her head from falling back onto the cushion, but she could at least turn it in his direction. She hated the look in his eyes, and the fact that she'd put it there. She reached a hand toward him and sighed again. It wasn't a story that lent itself to a shortened version, but she'd have to try.
"I was talking to the girl I told you about when there was an explosion in the apartment building across the street. And I don't know what that place was made of but the fire spread so fast... you know I had to help. I can get to places firefighters can't. So I was helping get people out and it was hectic but going okay, and then this older lady in a wheelchair asked if anyone had checked the basement because a bunch of kids like to hang out down there." She didn't need to tell him that she'd immediately gone straight there. He knew her well enough.
"It was bad, Steve. The smoke was really thick and the stairs were blocked from shit falling down already and... I get down there and there's a sea of terrified little faces staring at me." Talking about it brought her right back there, and all of the emotions she had suppressed at the time came back with it. She wasn't expecting to be blinking back tears already.
"I don't even remember how many there were. 8, maybe 9? One older kid, maybe 16, and the rest were around ten-ish. I told them it was gonna be okay but inside, I didn't know if I could take that many at once. But there wasn't enough time to make more than one trip. I mean, I could never be the one to decide who to save and who to leave behind? And then look them in the eye and say 'sorry, you're screwed'?"
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Date: 2022-09-29 01:09 am (UTC)"I was talking to the girl I told you about when there was an explosion in the apartment building across the street. And I don't know what that place was made of but the fire spread so fast... you know I had to help. I can get to places firefighters can't. So I was helping get people out and it was hectic but going okay, and then this older lady in a wheelchair asked if anyone had checked the basement because a bunch of kids like to hang out down there." She didn't need to tell him that she'd immediately gone straight there. He knew her well enough.
"It was bad, Steve. The smoke was really thick and the stairs were blocked from shit falling down already and... I get down there and there's a sea of terrified little faces staring at me." Talking about it brought her right back there, and all of the emotions she had suppressed at the time came back with it. She wasn't expecting to be blinking back tears already.
"I don't even remember how many there were. 8, maybe 9? One older kid, maybe 16, and the rest were around ten-ish. I told them it was gonna be okay but inside, I didn't know if I could take that many at once. But there wasn't enough time to make more than one trip. I mean, I could never be the one to decide who to save and who to leave behind? And then look them in the eye and say 'sorry, you're screwed'?"